How Not to Hire a Nanny

Remember the days when I was a stay at home mom and I was bored to tears and calling my husband every five seconds to complain?  Ahh those were the good days with the green, green grass.  Well, awhile back I started my own bookkeeping company and had just a few clients and it was glorious.  Phone calls from adults daily, using some math skills, taking a few hours a couple times a week to get away from take a break from my children.  And then all of the sudden, all these new clients kept coming my way.  Which, I mean, it’s great and all, but it sure made my work time add up quickly.  And… I couldn’t say no because I am a money grubbing whore.  Ok, maybe not, but having extra money so we can actually have a life is pretty great.  (Case in point, we are going on a tropical vacation for A WEEK this fall, WITHOUT children, and WITH all inclusive BOOZE.  Made possible by my work at home business.)

Anyway, with all this work adding up, I decided to hire a couple of employees to lighten my load and to find a nanny again so that I could pack all of my work into a couple days a week instead of parking my kids in front of the tv and working all the time (which by the way, I’m doing now so I can blog.)

How does one hire a nanny, you ask?  Well, I’ll tell you, I have no fucking clue.  There are tons of websites out there you can advertise and look for people on, but still dudes, you’re still hiring someone from the internet.  Like some stranger you meet online, leave your kids alone with, and basically know nothing about because you met them on the internet.  So I did what I thought was smart – posted on Facebook.  (Which turns out, is the opposite of smart.)  I was thinking maybe someone had a niece or church member or someone they could send my way.  That way, a person I knew would be in common therefore ensuring that I was not hiring a crazy person or a crackhead.

But then people I knew started asking me about it.  Like people my age and people I haven’t seen since high school.  And dudes, I’m in my mid 30’s, so high school was awhile back mmmkay?  One girl from high school literally complains about her children DAILY on FB and she sent me a message telling me how she loves other peoples kids and she would be teaching preschool this fall too so she’s just perfect for the job.  Ummmmmmmmmmm.  Hmmmmmmmm.  How do I put this delicately?  Fuck no.  My neighbor also asked me and said she “could do it” like i was asking her to feed my dog while I was out of town.  The same neighbor who stands outside her back door bellowing for her children every day and then yelling at them so loudly I can hear.   Thanks anyway neighbor!  One friend told me her sister was interested and had just graduated high school and was starting college nearby in the fall.  Jackpot!  Only problem is – friend’s sister didn’t show up for the interview.  Twice.  Awwwwwk-warrrrrrrrrrd!

I reverted to the internet.  Found a stranger.  Facebook and Twitter stalked her.  Hired her.  So far so good.

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