Holy balls dudes.  I am feeling some aggression up in here today.  So I decided to rant about it on this here blog.  Take that mother fucking blog.  Take that and LIKE it.

In case you were wondering when your child starts to believe he is smarter than you, the answer is age 9.  Age 9 is when your son will scoff and roll his eyes because no, mom, 9×6 cannot possibly be 54.  DUHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!  Also, mom, did you even know, or have any clue whatsoever,  that Bob Marley stole that song from a guy who came and sang it at my SCHOOL??  How did Bob Marley do that???

I realize that California is awesome.  I love to visit it and shit, but what is with you Californians moving to other places and then talking shit about where you live and how you can’t wait to get back to Cali?  Is this like something they teach you in Cali schools?  And if it’s so awesome, why did you ever leave?

My Fitness Pal is a gigantic whore.  She’s not my pal at all.  She spends all day monitoring what I eat and telling me I only have a few calories left.  And at the end of the day, she tells me that I’m going to weigh a ridiculous amount in 5 weeks.  Unless I don’t eat all the calories, and then she tells me a glorious amount I’m going to weigh in 5 weeks.  Although one time, I forgot to log my food all day and she told me I would lose like a gazillion pounds in the next 5 weeks and I literally said, out loud, “I will not you stupid whore.  I’d be DEAD if I didn’t eat for 5 weeks.”  Fucking idiot.

Tiny Dancer has decided that anything other than breast milk is unacceptable.  She is 7 months old and I cannot get her to eat ANYTHING.  When the spoon comes out, her mouth clamps shut.  So my nipples are basically leather at this point and I am feeding her about every 3 hours.  She is also waking up twice a night again, which probably explains today’s aggression.  Well, most definitely explains it.  I’m fucking tired dudes.  

Now on to the good stuff.  Hubs and I finally booked a vacation!  Woo hoo!!  We decided to go with some other friends as well because while at a beach, I generally want to lie on said beach and drink alcoholic beverages, and that is basically like torture to him.  So this plan involves guy time golfing and whatnot, and girl time drunk on beach.  

Despite complaining about the whore MFP, I have lost about 18 pounds so far.  My goal weight is about 7-10 pounds away and I think I can pull that off by the end of the summer.  Then I can start gaining my winter weight back.  It’s nice to feel better about my body and not so self conscious anymore.  It’s also been great to reach some fitness goals.  I started running when I was 12 years old and have done it on and off since then.  Once you stop, it’s hard to get back into it because it’s fucking hard.  But once you get to the point where you can finally run a couple of miles without feeling like you’re going to die, you remember what it’s like.  Your feet hitting the pavement, steady breath, quick heartbeat and it is glorious.  I love it.  I really do.  I’m only up to about 25 minute runs but that is about 25 minutes more than I was doing 6 months ago.  





4 thoughts on “RAWWWRRRRR!!!!

  1. You are doing totally awesome!! Way to go at feeling better about yourself again. FUCK. Running. Need to start that. Soon.

    Your beach vacation sounds AWESOME dude. Perfect plan.

    Have you tried any Baby Led Weaning with Tiny Dancer? Stella HATES when we feed her, but she has always loved feeding herself. Maybe give her a wedge of avocado or banana or roasted sweet potato (cut everything about the size & shape of your pointer finger) and just let her have at it. Good luck! Your nipples need a break! 🙂

  2. Rant away! Your Bob Marley story reminds me of my stepbrother (15 years younger). One Christmas we were listening to music & a WHAM Christmas song came on & my SIL & I commented on when we use to LOVE WHAM & my snotty SB says all know it all like, “That’s not WHAM guys, that’s George Michael” Um, ya…

    WTG with the weightloss & even better that you’re feeling good about yourself!!

  3. This was hilarious! Congrats on the 18 pounds! I lost effing 3 and even gained one back last week. Depressing. Awesome that you booked a vacation! I NEED one badly!!! Have you tried to let tiny dancer feed herself and just make a mess of it or giving her pieces of food she can just gnaw on like in those mesh feeders? You are probably like “Shut the f up, I’ve tried everything.” 😉

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