You know what is impossible? Looking sexy in a nursing bra.
That is not a joke with a punchline you can only understand if you are breast feeding. That is just a scientific fact. Nursing bras are horrid. They try to church ’em up and make them look presentable, but the reality is, after a few feedings that shit is going to be covered in some milk, possible some vomit, and most likely some tears.
Hubs and I went on a sushi date the other night. This is what you do when you have 3 kids and one is a newborn and you have your parents babysit all the time. You go to a dinner that is way too expensive, talk about your kids all night and then make it home by 10 o’clock. Well, usually that’s what happens. On this particular night, Hubs was asked to run an errand for work and it just happened to be near the restaurant we were at so he asked if I minded. I was 2 vodka sodas in, so I didn’t. Long story short, I ended up getting drunk but still made it home by midnight.
But I digress… As I was getting ready for my hawt date night (by hawt I mean yawning and trying to say witty things (my baby woke up 3 times the night before, I’m not usually this lame)) I was looking for a cute outfit that didn’t make me look too mom-ish but also hid the bulge that is currently hanging over the waist of my jeans. I found something decent and decided to just go ahead and keep my nursing bra on because I was going to have to drop the baby off and feed her before we left. I don’t really like feeding her in front of my dad because, well, it’s just awkward, so trying to maneuver a regular bra while trying not to flash pops was not in the cards for me.
I looked in the mirror and discovered that I do clean up nicely, but if Hubs was going to strip off the cute outfit later for celebratory “It’s been six weeks!” sex that he was going to find giant lime green Fruit of the Looms and a brownish frumpy maternity bra. Being too tired to care, I just went with it. Since we didn’t make it home until midnight, it was WAY too late for sex anyway. Maybe next time…