Hi, remember me? I’m BU and I’m the, *ahem*, author of this blog. I use the term “author” loosely since I can’t seem to find anything to write about. Don’t get me wrong, there’s plenty going on in my days (and nights) but just nothing of note and when I sit down to write a blog post, I think, “No dear, nobody cares about THAT.” Yes, I call myself dear in my head. But only when talking condescendingly to myself.
Luckily for you guys, Tiny Dancer has developed quite the projectile vomit, so I have hilarious stories about how I have been covered in vomit recently. (Ok, maybe not hilarious, dear.) The first one happened, oh, about 4 am. She was sleeping next to me in the co-sleeper. I was dozing in and out of consciousness and lightly sleeping when I heard her make a weird noise. I opened my eyes just as she barfed her last meal about a foot high fountain right over the walls of the co-sleeper and right on to my face. My mouth was also open. I started screaming, used the blanket to wipe my face off and then traded pillows. Note to self: don’t forget to wash puke covered pillow.
Last night I was rocking her in our recliner when she started spewing forth again. This time it happened 3 times in a row and there was nothing I could do except just sit there and accept the fact that A) I cannot get out of a fully reclined recliner and B) I was going to get a major amount of milk vomit on me right then and there was nothing I could do. Nothing says “I love you” more than vomit.
The nights are still rough. TD still wakes up about every 3 hours, sometimes even more frequently. She is quite the gassy gal and some nights she cries, farts, sleeps, and repeat. This keeps me awake because as of right now, I am too big of a pussy to put her in her own room. She is sleeping in a cradle next to my bed. I moved her out of the co-sleeper last week because having her crying right next to my head was, surprisingly, keeping me up. Not to mention vomit covered. I started reading a sleep training book last night so I can start using recommended steps for her age. Basically right now it says, YOU MUST FEED YOUR BABY WHEN SHE IS HUNGRY. So I can’t just ignore her when she cries. Then it says PUT HER IN HER BED TO SLEEP AT NIGHT AND DURING THE DAY AND IF YOU MUST CO-SLEEP OR SHARE A ROOM, YOU ARE, IN FACT, A FUCKING IDIOT AND YOU COULD BE DOING BETTER. Ok, it doesn’t say that but it gives lots of reasons you shouldn’t co-sleep or share a room, which I don’t subscribe to at this age. She’s only 4 weeks for FUCK SAKE YOU JUDGEY BASTARD BOOK. Also, I want her to be used to my noisy boys so I go ahead and let her nap in her swing in our living room during the day so she will learn to sleep through the commotion that is chez BU. So right now, the only thing I am committing to from the book is starting a bedtime routine at the same time every night and putting her in her cradle drowsy but awake, and without a pacifier.
The boys are adjusting amazingly. L just loves TD and wants to kiss her head constantly. He says “MAAA” as he open mouth kisses her hair and then claps for himself because he is amaze balls. Bugs loves to hold and cuddle her until she heats him up too much and then he is over it. I am healing quite nicely although my back and pelvis are still out of whack. Some day I’ll have time for massages again, which I know will help. Yoga is also on my list, but I am using the last week and a half of my 6 week healing period to abstain from eating well and/or exercising. Starting next week, IT IS ON. I am ready to get 2 pregnancies worth of weight off of me. Also ready for belly not to flop over top of jeans.